For The Love Of All Things Compassionate... HIRE ME!

Today I was turned down for yet another job. This one was part time and quite frankly I could have done it in my sleep. They even got £500 from the Job Centre if they hired me but clearly this still wasn't incentive enough for them.

Therefore it has come to my attention that I cannot even pay people to hire me :(

That can't be a good sign........

Squeal Piggy, Squeal.

Last night I was watching the local news and on it was a school where a girl had contracted piggy flu. They shut the school and filmed students leaving. A lot of them were crying.

In my day we would have been really chuffed to have left school in the middle of the day and then been on the local news, pandemic or no pandemic!! What is wrong with kids these days?

Im disapointed. Realistically they'll probably just get he sniffles...at most they'll die. It's still brill when school shuts! :)

A Conversation Many Moons Ago....

Homeless Man : Hello darlin' you're gorgeous.

Me: Er, thanks.

Homeless Man: You wana go for a coffee with me?

Me: Er, I assume I would be paying?

Homeless Man: Oh forget it then.

Me: Er, ok.

I suppose I felt a tad guilty mocking the fella, but to be honest he wasnt being very realistic was he. Plus, any pennies he had, I wouldnt expect him to waste on me, given the fact that I blatently wouldnt have "put out". ;)

My Love Of Florence

While nursing a hangover today I was watching tv and came across one of these holiday programs where usually rich and ungrateful slobs swap places. This eposide the ungrateful slobs got to spend a week in Florence. I HATED them. I would literally kill to go to Florence and all they were doing was moaning about going and seeing "that David statue" and the fact that they couldnt find any chips anywhere.

In my delicate state I literally wept a little. I want to go to Florence ;(

Piss Off

Apparantly they are planning to make a Jade Goody musical..... now as much as Im sad for what happend to her, as I am with anyone who has a serious illness..... COME ON you have to be kidding me?!. And i'm not too sure who "they" are.. but whoever.. well THEY need their heads examined.

I would rather rip off my own arm and beat myself about the head with it than see this crap being made.

I wonder if i'll be given that option....Honestly, a Jade Goody musical... what a pile of wank.

By the way, that was my angry voice.

Erm....

It has come to my attention that some people SO need to be voted off the Island....

Nuff said.

Real Gone Kid

Today I rediscovered my love for Deacon Blue. I am incredible happy as I have just purchased their "Greatest Hits" for £0.01p on Amazon.

Simple things make me happy lately.. that's what happens when you are single AND unemployed!

What fool would put it on for a penny??? Their fees will be more than that.

What a goon.

My gain however .. mwah ha ha.

Gum

My wisdom tooth is making attempts to come up again... rather painful attempts I might add.... I used to put lots of bongella on... but its not hardcore enough for me now.. so I use something that completely numbs it and makes me feel like Ive been victim to some sort of mouth based stroke.

Its lame.. it should either come up... or not... not make apathetic attempts to emerge when it can be bothered...... :(

I do LOVE the taste of Bongella though.. Meryl and I think they should make some sort of vodka/bongella based alcohol shot... that would be a dream come true ;)

Mr. Shakespeare..

I'm having really odd dreams lately... more so than usual. Not to mention some really disturbing ones.. including Robert Kilroy Silk popping up out of nowhere and cupping my butt. That is something that I would like to wipe from my brain!

The other night however, I was dreaming and in my dream was a poem. I recognised it, but in my dream.. I knew all of it. I was quite impressed with myself. I googled the 3 lines that I could remember and turns out that is a Sonnet by Shakeaspeare... not bad eh?! Shame I didnt just randomly know all of it in my dream though without hearing it first.. I guess that would have made me some sort of literary genius .. *sigh*.. maybe one day!

Shall I compare thee to a summers day
Thou art more lovely and more temperate
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of may .......

I suggest you look it up as it is really rather beautiful......

Pod People...

I have recently made the observation that in a group of friends there is usually the "stunning" one... one that looks like she spends hours making herself beautiful.. usually however they are just born that gorgeous. They also tend to have amazingly glossy hair, like they have been washing it in in some sort of shampoo delivered straight from God ( I shall avoid the term Jesus juice for obvious reasons ;) ) However, I have noticed that in some groups (or" gaggles" as I like to call them) all of the girls are this stunning... its like they were artificially grown in pods, seperated at birth, then brought back together during adolencence for some sort of greater purpose.

I have also noticed that these groups of girls scare the shit out of me. I tend to avoid them at all costs... They need to go back to their pods so us "normal" girls can live in a society without perfection and prejudice getting in our way *chortle*....

No, No, NO!

Apparantly they are making a new version of The Bodyguard... with Rhianna. Personally I would rather have both legs cut off, sown on again backwards and made to run A LOT, than see this movie classic be ruined.

The though of this remake makes me want to weep... then punch Rhianna.

I'm hoping it wont come to that. :)

The Haste Of Becca....

So I admit, maybe it was slightly hasty of me to swear off men all together. I'm not saying I was wrong, because I still firmly believe that there are no eligible men out there.... however... a certain someone is growing on me... and not in contagious rash sense... but most definately in a good way.

I dont hold out much hope though.. I am too much of a cynical madam...... or maybe just a realist.

For The Attention Of Nik....

I have three more posts to go until I have done a month of my Blog. I work well when bribery is involved.... others feel free to remember this. You never know what you might get. Or me for that matter!!

This counts as one blog of course..... so TWO LEFT! Yes that's right uncle dearest.... TAKE NOTE! ;)

Fluffy Bunny...

Im looking forward to Easter.... not as much as I look forward to Christmas of course because Christmas time just happens to make me doolally with excitement... but Easter... a whole holiday devoted entirely to the consumption of over priced, over shaped chocolate. Who wouldnt love that?!

Ok.. so maybe to some Easter means more... ie Christians.. but meh... I'm in it for the chocolate. Ok.. and the little fluffy bunnies and chicks... etc....etc...... :)

Tea Bagging?

Whilst in town earlier I noticed that someone had been throwing teabags around. Im not sure why and am now wondering whether this is an activity that all the "cool" kids are doing. They were used.. not dry.. I'm guessing they have more trajectory on them that way.

I suppose it gives a new meaning to the phrase" tea bagging".... ew. What a thought. In fact no.. I'm not going to think about it.

Oh wait.. I just did. And again.. and once more damn it! Pesky kids.

Big Earrings?

Recently some random man on facebook messaged me and told me simply that he loves my hair. Now... I'm all for compliments....even though I have a habit of not accepting them graciously and being extremly cynical, but even to me this is slightly odd.

I appreciate the compliment in a strange "Im worried you are going to hunt me down, cut off my hair and wear it yourself" kind of way.

That's why kiddies, you should never give out personal information such as ADDRESSES on the internet.

Phew.

Plus, I dont want to be one of those bald women who are all about the earrings. :(

Act Fast

I have just been watching "In The Night Garden" with my niece. It scares me a little/ a lot... Iggle Piggle looks like he has had some sort of stroke.

This can't be good for children surely?!

Then again... one of my earliest memories was being held down by my brothers and made to watch Hellraiser..... and that clearly hasnt done me any harm! :s

I Expect More..

It has become apparant of late that certain people in my life do things that they explicitly say they wont do. Turns out that they clearly have no backbone/balls/regard for others, etc, etc.

I guess that these people probably shouldnt be in my life, given the fact that all they do it make me sad.... and angry. But mostly sad.

Its true, with friends like these, who needs enemies.

Attack Of The 60ft Pervert..

Ive just noticed that my first post of a brand new month was about a pervert. Oh typical. It should really have been about having a spring in my step, fluffy bunnies and fields of daffodils...meh.

However although cynical, I am hoping for a better month.... one that is filled with sunshine and fluffy bunnies. And if im honest probably perverts. :)

Doing A....

I'm so sick of hearing in the paper about the "new" Fritzl. Surely these perverts are not the new anyone.... Fritzl certainly didnt invent being an incredibly sick bastard.

I'm waiting for the moment that the papers refer to a pervert as "doing a Fritzl." they will also coin the phrase "doing a Goody"... just you wait...!